CHAPTER 3: DISCOURTESY BEGINS AT HOME......

They say that charity begins at home. So does discourtesy. Really! When my younger boy shouted “You stupid idiot” at my elder boy I should admonish him and tell him that he shouldn't do that. When he called his elder sister, my first born, my only daughter “You ugly pig!” I should send him to his room for a “time out” session and deprive him of the use of his computer for at least an hour.. But no, I laugh it off, tousling his hair and saying “Son, you are so cute!” That’s cute – but not for an eight year old! Depriving him of the use of his computer for one whole is too cruel and he may traumatized so we compromise - 30 minutes.  And 15 minutes later, I joined him, hoping to teach him a thing or two about courtesy. “You should not call your brother an idiot, or your sister an ugly pig. They are my children too you know.” And then we again giggled and laughed together because it was so funny.

But it is not funny. Really. Because he told me he learnt those words from his grandmother. Maternal grandmother that is. The wife’s mother. My mother-in-law. My nemesis. He said that woman, who puts up with me (or am I putting up with her?) who eats my food, calls me a stupid idiot and an ugly pig in front of my own kids all the time. And then suddenly my boy let go a string of unprintable expletives in Hokkien ending with the very same alphabets which I used to call Chee Beng when he makes me angry – CCB! I couldn’t believe my ears although I was puzzled as to why CCB was mentioned. I was about to drag him to wash his mouth out with soap when he quickly told me that his grandmother described me with those very words! I should wash her mouth out with soap instead! So I stormed out of the room to look for Mighty Mouth, only to find her in one of her foul moods. And you don’t mess with her when she’s in a foul mood. Actually, you just don’t mess with her, full stop. And that’s the problem with us. We don’t cultivate courtesy; we condone discourtesy. We do not teach our children and grandchildren what is right and what is wrong or how to behave. And we don’t have the guts to ask our mothers-in-law to shut up and go to hell. Sigh

Anyway, after I simmered down, I went back to ask my boy why he had mentioned Uncle Chee Beng earlier. He looked very puzzled so I said “You shouted “CCB”, remember? And his puzzled look turned into a big, wide grin. He then leaned forward and whispered into my ears and told me what “CCB” meant. And for the first time in almost 20 years, I blushed. I could have single-handedly turned our Little Red Dot a shade redder. I immediately made a solemn promise never to call Chee Beng “CCB” again. I promise.

And you guys out there - home is where a new generation of discourteous Singaporeans start to breed. So stand up, stand up for Singapore. Go and wash your mother-in-law's mouth out with soap. 

Right now!