I am just so excited! It is finally here! After 10 long years it has arrived……..
What am I talking about? Dyskinesia as in D-Y-S-K-I-N-E-S-I-A. What in the world is that?
That, my friends, is a movement disorder that affects Parkinsons’ Disease patient after a long period of taking levodopa, a drug taken to control the symptoms of the disease. Movement disorder, in this case, refers to involuntary muscle movements over which one has no control. Examples of such involuntary movements are twitches, jerks or twisting. And occasionally, a series of punches and karate chops from your upper limbs followed by a generous kick to someone’s behind. That kick, mind you, have been known to save some lucky fellow the price of an air ticket to Penang. Okay, I do exaggerate. Maybe to KL. My MIL, my Millie, my dear Mighty Mouth may retire her broomstick…………………..
Mixed martial arts exponents have been trying to incorporate these sudden movements as part of their repertoire of combat techniques, alas without success. Eat your heart out, but I am not parting with my Parkinsons’ just so you could improve your standing in the world of MMA.
So yours truly, a peace loving, non-violent decent human being, someone who would not even raise a hand in self-defence, is now, at times a lethal fighting machine himself. Maybe the time has come to show the world I am made of sterner stuff. Next week I will sign up for the Ultimate Fighting Championship. But first, I must resolve one serious problem - I must learn to determine the exact timing of my dyskinesia otherwise you can imagine the damage to body and soul……me standing at the center of the “cage”, frozen, not moving, not fighting back - against an opponent twice my weight, half my age. And height, oh, forget about the height.............
So yours truly, a peace loving, non-violent decent human being, someone who would not even raise a hand in self-defence, is now, at times a lethal fighting machine himself. Maybe the time has come to show the world I am made of sterner stuff. Next week I will sign up for the Ultimate Fighting Championship. But first, I must resolve one serious problem - I must learn to determine the exact timing of my dyskinesia otherwise you can imagine the damage to body and soul……me standing at the center of the “cage”, frozen, not moving, not fighting back - against an opponent twice my weight, half my age. And height, oh, forget about the height.............
At this point, one of my friends will definitely jump in and shout “Hold your horses”
“Why is this exciting, especially if you cannot determine when you turn from your docile character into a fighting machine? “ That’s a naive question; I will humor Dandy with a naive response. Oops!
“Why is this exciting, especially if you cannot determine when you turn from your docile character into a fighting machine? “ That’s a naive question; I will humor Dandy with a naive response. Oops!
“Because, O Naïve One, involuntary muscular movements resulting from Parkinsonism is accepted as reasonable defense in cases of serious bodily injuries....or death. And in the unlikely event of conviction, it could also be used as a mitigating factor, so no, I am not giving up my dyskinesia. As Dandy the Naive often said “Got money also cannot buy!” Oops! again......
I have to stop for now. I think my series of punches and karate chops is about to start, and what perfect timing. My MIL is at the door. My left leg is itching too.
This time, I promise you, I will send her back to where she belongs and not have to pay for transportation. I will plead “knee jerk reaction” if I am charged with causing serious bodily injuries.
Bye bye Millie.
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